https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog daily 0.75 2026-03-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/64893e1063be126113cdf534/70e16bc2-5d0a-4920-89e3-08ea188228c1/perohuka-loc-5.png https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/the-gift-of-longevity monthly 0.5 2026-03-22 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/j5rkv6nurmf4lu8p33tvsyacxx0dgm monthly 0.5 2026-01-29 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/where-the-social-justice-movement-and-the-church-missed-each-other monthly 0.5 2025-12-18 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/what-endures-from-the-justice-movement monthly 0.5 2025-12-04 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/when-justice-alone-doesnt-bring-the-kingdom monthly 0.5 2025-10-31 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/when-justice-captured-my-imagination monthly 0.5 2025-09-28 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/when-your-congregation-feels-like-a-friday-intermediate-class monthly 0.5 2025-08-22 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/0jjeu1n0iwxhykar9z3csj3yw0qjkr monthly 0.5 2025-08-14 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/leading-change-without-losing-your-soul monthly 0.5 2025-08-14 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/from-life-support-to-legacy-what-one-church-merger-teaches-us-about-letting-go-with-grace monthly 0.5 2025-06-29 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/the-discipling-minister-you-cant-restructure-your-way-to-renewal monthly 0.5 2025-06-29 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/whale-rider-and-the-art-of-listening-without-agreeing monthly 0.5 2025-06-02 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/myth-3-old-dogs-cant-learn-new-tricks monthly 0.5 2025-05-19 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/myth-2-the-burning-platform monthly 0.5 2025-03-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/64893e1063be126113cdf534/2e6f5672-71f1-4b0d-bcb3-c958ab71c56e/unsplash-image-mVCIG2QHLyI.jpg Blog - Myth 2: the burning platform - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/myth-1-the-truth-will-set-you-free monthly 0.5 2025-03-03 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/why-the-most-talented-surfer-in-the-world-still-needs-a-coach monthly 0.5 2025-02-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/64893e1063be126113cdf534/62f19c85-f7f2-44e6-9c9b-e4438243186f/Screenshot+2025-01-07+at+3.10.21%E2%80%AFPM.png Blog - Why the most talented surfer in the world still needs a coach - Make it stand out Gabriel Medina (left) and Italo Ferreira (right) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/64893e1063be126113cdf534/de095a40-23f2-4fc3-9272-da81b72245bb/Screenshot+2025-01-07+at+3.16.00%E2%80%AFPM.png Blog - Why the most talented surfer in the world still needs a coach - Make it stand out Yasmin, Andy and Gabriel. https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/1z2hcgfc6vclpb5b2zy3d5cowjztxb monthly 0.5 2024-12-08 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/the-tricks-and-treats-of-celebrating-halloween monthly 0.5 2024-12-08 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/building-a-culture-of-mission-just-dont-mention-the-r-word monthly 0.5 2024-10-16 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/empathy-is-it-possible-to-have-too-much-of-a-good-thing monthly 0.5 2024-09-13 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/64893e1063be126113cdf534/e9c4c974-05b0-4c84-b254-84f1d0237ca3/Infograph.png Blog - Empathy or people-pleasing? When does it become too much of a good thing? - Make it stand out I spent 2023 reading, thinking, and writing about congregational change for a Master’s thesis. I conducted case studies of three congregations and 39 participants who had undergone recent changes. I then collated this data and asked which of dozens of organisational and, specifically, congregational change theories best explained the patterns I had observed. Of the theories and models I examined, Noel Pearse's Effective and Ineffective Leadership Patterns best explained the actions of my change leaders. Pearse is a South African researcher who developed his model to explain the activity of church leaders attempting to transition their churches from traditional to cell-based models. Empathy is so obviously a key leadership trait that it almost needs no explanation. Whether the leader is running a school, a small business, or an entire nation-state, empathetic leaders gain the trust of their congregants/employees/citizens/co-workers when they take an interest in their lives. Followers feel valued and respected when leaders listen to their challenges and give credence to their feelings. In a context of organisational change, where people’s sense of collective identity is threatened, and given peoples’ predictable response to change, empathetic leadership is more important than ever. Pearse calls the empathetic leader the Reflexive Accommodator. Reflexive, meaning they are carefully observing people’s concerns and anxiety levels, and Accommodator refers to the leader's willingness to slow down the pace of change in order to accommodate the followers’ needs. He writes, “Successfully negotiating this change involved on the one hand, steering the church in the new direction and allaying members concerns on the other. The leader has to manage the delicate balance between pushing ahead with change and thereby compelling the church to fulfill its perceived purpose and slowing down the pace of change to accommodate member’s needs.”[1] But what happens if there is too much empathy? Pearse calls the excessively empathetic leader the Popular People Pleaser. The PPP looks very similar to the Reflexive Accommodator; they, too, are listening, giving credence to feelings, and accommodating. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/64893e1063be126113cdf534/76ea3b53-26f6-40bf-8383-ac1556974a51/Infograph3.png Blog - Empathy or people-pleasing? When does it become too much of a good thing? - Make it stand out Pearse’s effective and ineffective leadership patterns But the Popular People Pleaser is an ineffective leadership pattern. Change inevitably affects the community's sense of itself, causing levels of anxiety and sometimes strong emotions. The PPP, conflict averse, and crushingly aware of the ways in which necessary changes are disappointing people, slows the pace of change until the change initiative loses all momentum. Pearse’s patterns give language to the leadership weaknesses each of us carries. There simply isn’t a leader who is equally and simultaneously determined, empathetic, and flexible. Our personalities, under stress, will inevitably be pulled towards the excess of one of the three patterns. If, on a bad day, you know you turn into a Popular People Pleaser, great. Awareness is the first step towards growth. You don’t have to stay that way. We begin by noticing what we’ve done after the fact. More self-learning, and we spot ourselves doing it in the moment. Even more, we can spot it coming and choose to lean into the counterintuitive feeling of allowing people to feel disappointed. This self-awareness and internal work is usually a team sport; it’s pretty hard to be the one to call yourself out when it’s yourself that’s getting in the way of your goals. Find an accountability partner, professional coach, or supervisor you trust. Tell them what you’ve discovered about yourself and ask them to journey with you as you grow. [1] Pearse, Noel J. “Effective Strategic Leadership: Balancing Roles during Church Transitions.” Hervormde Teologiese Studies 67, no. 2 (2011): 63–69. https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/giving-up-on-evangelism-what-people-try-part-2 monthly 0.5 2024-09-09 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/giving-up-on-evangelism monthly 0.5 2024-09-09 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/incarnation-the-way-of-jesus monthly 0.5 2024-07-18 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/determination-flexibility-and-empathy monthly 0.5 2024-08-11 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/64893e1063be126113cdf534/e9c4c974-05b0-4c84-b254-84f1d0237ca3/Infograph.png Blog - Determination, flexibility, and empathy: the ingredients of a change agent - Make it stand out The essential ingredients of a congregational change leader https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/64893e1063be126113cdf534/5fd0531e-a48a-45ca-b291-20716c735bb5/Infograph2.png Blog - Determination, flexibility, and empathy: the ingredients of a change agent - Make it stand out Pearse’s effective leadership patterns https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/64893e1063be126113cdf534/76ea3b53-26f6-40bf-8383-ac1556974a51/Infograph3.png Blog - Determination, flexibility, and empathy: the ingredients of a change agent - Make it stand out Pearse’s effective and ineffective leadership patterns https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/embrace-your-place monthly 0.5 2024-06-20 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/why-invitation-really-matters monthly 0.5 2025-11-18 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/the-complexity-of-invitation monthly 0.5 2024-06-19 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/invitation monthly 0.5 2024-05-14 https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/so-what-do-i-do-about-it monthly 0.5 2024-03-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/64893e1063be126113cdf534/8e3032cd-bae9-4324-b1cd-a3e9694611c6/image-asset.jpg Blog - So, what do I do about it? - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/64893e1063be126113cdf534/1697522150477-8SGYECFAQ8949W28RP0H/perohuka-stock-8.jpg Blog - So, what do I do about it? - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.perohukacoaching.com/blog/life-cycle-part-2 monthly 0.5 2024-02-07 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/64893e1063be126113cdf534/23b4af63-8811-4c07-8aa3-bcb929983009/Screenshot+2024-02-05+at+1.54.39%E2%80%AFPM.png Blog - The church life-cycle (part 2) - Make it stand out Tony Morgan’s Giving Lag. High giving numbers aren’t a guarantee that your church hasn’t entered the institutional stage. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/64893e1063be126113cdf534/bf567d74-f23d-4c37-94b9-70e14da0731b/39CCB72D-F246-4128-ACC6-5FE25BCA3CD4_1_201_a.jpeg Blog - The church life-cycle (part 2) - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/64893e1063be126113cdf534/0fc249d9-391d-46ca-bcea-2fe4300eb1a7/tempImage63odbz.jpg Blog - The church life-cycle (part 2) - Make it stand out Mann’s Congregational Resources (money, people, energy, buildings) and Tolerance for Change. Congregations tend to lose their visionary and missionary qualities rather quickly. A new openness to change can occur when resources are no longer sufficient to sustain the status quo. 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